He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
