You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Panties = found
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
