I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
time to smoke my breakfast
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
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