we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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