We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
