I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
