Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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