What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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