Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
