what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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