she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
