i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
