I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
