You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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