3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
this boner is exhausting
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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