Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
