k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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