My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The beer is more important than you right now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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