yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
