Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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