i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
