Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
