This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
