We named our party play list daddy issues
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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