eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
