Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
