Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
