There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
