You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
