I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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