Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
