no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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