everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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