Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
