i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your cock deserves a montage
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
