This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There r osticjed everywhere
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
