I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
