It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
