You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I will die if light touches me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
