Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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