we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
