The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
