She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
