You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
