i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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