you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
