Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Where is the hickey?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
