just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
