It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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