i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
